A - It's all about the songs. And a cow.

Picture, if you will, a cow. Not just any cow, but the most beautiful prize-winning specimen you have ever laid your eyes upon. A magnificent beast! Lovingly crafted by nature to deliver the perfect balance of form and function, stunningly simple yet awe-inspiringly powerful. You've seen many a cow, but this mighty Friesian demands your attention more than any other. You move closer.

You gaze into its wide and beautiful eyes, eyes that regard you with warmth and innocence. But wait. As you stare you begin to notice a darkness that lurks deep within. There is intelligence and a complexity you never thought could be there at first glance, a sense of sinister mischief bubbling beneath the surface. Make no mistake, this cow could rip your f****** head off.

Your eyes move to the glorious, pendulous udder. An udder swollen with deliciously creamy milk you yearn to squeeze and taste from the perfectly formed teats. But look harder. This cow has a seedy underbelly, a largely hidden underside that tells tales of its dirty secrets and subversive pleasures. This is indeed a dirty cow, a cow which given half a chance would whip out a strap-on and roger you senseless over the dry stone wall.

You know it's wrong. You know you should walk away, get back in the car, drive home and never leave the city again. But it is too late. This cow will be in your heart and mind forever, and like many before you, you will return again and again to be pleasured and subverted.

Follow Rigsby and you will find Your Cow.

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